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“How to go about making friends, female friends. There are dating sites to meet guys but I would like to make platonic friendships. There isn't anyone where I work as they are all much younger or a lot older. I'm in my forties and moved from London to Swansea four years ago. I have a long term boyfriend and we go out with other couples but I would like to have a few girlfriends so that I can have my own circle of friends.

I'm not looking to go out on the pull as I'm very happy in my relationship and I'm not a drinker and certainly don't want to go clubbing! But it would be nice to go out for a coffee, a meal or one or two drinks at a pub or just go shopping with.

My children took up my time when I first moved here, but one has now left home and the other is older and doing more of their own thing, which is why I now feel the need to have a friend or two. The couples that we go out with are very friendly but have their own circles of friends and I would like to make some of my own, perhaps with another woman in a similar situation.

Any advice please? Thank you.”

By EnglishLady Posted: December 05, 2012


9 replies

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  • GretaCarbo  |  December 05 2012, 9:55PM

    Do you like reading? One of the ways I've found of making new friends is to go to a public library. If you see someone looking at books that you like you can strike up a conversation. If you see someone looking at a book by a writer that you've never read, try asking her about the author's style. Good luck.

  • Portal_Bot  |  December 05 2012, 10:18PM

    wurr evening classes wurr wurr many subjects wurr wurr many easy subjects wurr wurr meet people wurr

  • SailTime Cardiff  |  December 06 2012, 5:04PM

    What about sailing? we run a sailing membership company at Penarth Quays and we have people join us to meet other like minded people - and it works - nothing wrong with evening classes either, great way to meet people - and if you don't like the first one you find don't give up try another! good luck and if you fancy sailing give us a call!

  • tomitma  |  December 08 2012, 7:05PM

    Actually I am in the same position as you, I had to move to Neath two years ago, because of family happenings, I drive, I am married, but I have no friends,my husband has cancer, I live in a lovely place in Neath, that my Husband loves, I would love to have a friend whom I could just pick up the the phone and talk too, and meet for just a coffee, someone I can talk too, someone I can have a laugh and a joke with, where we are living, there is no chance of that because unusually all my neighbors work, I only know there names because of the parcels I take in, I have a very young attitude, usually at this time of the year I would be in India, even though I am welsh born and bred. I go to India to have a bit of sunshine. I go there for 12 weeks every year, My father is ex-army my ex-husband is ex-army so I have lived and moved all over the world, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malta, Germany (both my sons were born there in Berlin before the wall came down) I honestly feel lost and I would love to have a friend. Sometimes I feel like screaming, some of the people That I talk to think that it is a great experience just to go on a bus trip to go shopping in Cardiff. because I have a car, I have to get out of the house, I drive the car to the junction and I do not know which way to turn. I just park in a car park and sit there crying. I have family in Cardiff, but I hate the 45 minutes drive there. I ONLY GO TO CARDIFF ONCE A MONTH TO BE QUITE TRUTHFUL I HAVE HATED CARDIFF ALL MY LIFE. That is why I have never lived there. I am in my early 50@s but I act and look like like I m in my 40@s I would love to meet you.

  • EnglishLady  |  December 09 2012, 9:29AM

    Tomitma, I would love to meet up with you. I'm not sure if there is a contact user button on here but if not I think I can locate you on the web. Please look out for a message from me in the next couple of days. I drive and I'm sure we can arrange to meet up for a good old chinwag over a coffee. Xxx

  • abertawejack  |  December 09 2012, 6:49PM

    I hope and pray you ladies meet up and enjoy life to full extent, there is nothing worse than loneliness, when our children grew up and had lives of their own, my wife and I have found time to enjoy all the things we didn't have time to do, together. We were like passing ships in the night, as we both worked shifts, I've had to retire early though my darling did retire at the appropriate time. Our favourite pastime is to, pop to the "Grape and Olive", or the pub in the clouds as I call it, lol take the lift to 28th floor, go through and around the restaurant and up another flight of steps, to the coffee lounge, where on a clear day you can see Swansea City in all it's splendor. I have a couple of pints whilst my darling has her coffee, Bliss, quite nice in the night too. Warm wishes to anyone lonely as there's no need to be, especially when you puck up enough courage and talk to someone, sometimes that's all is needed, but we don't like to in case we offend, yes.

  • sabrinagee  |  January 05 2013, 11:27PM

    im new to this so here goes. lost my job 12 mths ago, would love some female company for coffee, shopping, lunch, live in cardiff area, but can drive, if intrested e.mail me. sabrinagee@hotmail.co.uk

  • Flora1234  |  February 06 2013, 9:28AM

    Thats why femalefriends.co.uk aims to bridge the gap of female friendship in UK. As things are getting difficult in this stressful economic area... its important to create as much female friends as possible for support. like going out more, chatting about issues, relationships etc. http://tinyurl.com/apdaqh6

  • brochadav  |  February 15 2013, 12:13PM

    Have you got a dog? Myself and my wife have met and become good friends with people in our area just through dog walking. We both have platonic friends, both male and female, who have lived close to us for years yet we never met them until getting our four legged friend. Tomitma, don't keep repeating your behaviour. Break the cycle. Maybe get a dog, which will be fantastic company by itself, or look for a club to join. I don't know what interests you but there must be something that can get you out and occupied and hopefully make some friends too.


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