RUGBY hero Gareth Thomas will tell the secret story of his coming out in a one-off programme tonight (Thursday).
He has made a personal documentary to be shown on Channel 5 at 10pm.
In the documentary, called Coming Out — My Secret Past, Gareth goes back to his roots to discover what effect his secrecy had on others, to explain why he behaved as he did.
He also says he wants to encourage other people to be open and honest about their sexuality.
"I am Gareth Thomas, the only professional rugby union player to publicly say, 'I am gay'. I have been through 20 years of torment battling with my sexuality," he says in the film."I became a master of playing the straight man. I caused misery for those closest to me. I hated being Gareth Thomas. I hated the man I looked at in the mirror. I hated him so much I wanted to die."